Euphoria Hash Brownie, 50g

The full label, which almost nobody publishes

This is the useful part of the page, so it goes first. The complete ingredient declaration for this brownie appears on exactly one listing we could find anywhere, a European wholesale page that is now marked as discontinued. The brand does not publish it. No retailer selling the brownie publishes it. So here it is.

Chocolate made from cocoa mass, sugar, cocoa butter, reduced fat cocoa powder, sunflower lecithin and natural vanilla flavouring. Margarine made from palm, rapeseed and partially hydrogenated palm oils, with water, emulsifiers E471 and E322, salt, citric acid, beta carotene and a butter flavouring. Then sugar, semi coarse wheat flour, shelled hemp seed, cocoa, vanillin sugar, eggs, hemp flavouring, a preservative blend of sodium acetate, salt, citric acid and ascorbic acid, the named flavouring for the variety, sorbic acid as E200, and salt.

Two words in that list are printed in capitals on the source declaration, which is how allergens are marked: WHEAT and EGGS. So this brownie is neither gluten free nor vegan, and no page selling it in this market says so either way.

The same listing carries a nutrition panel, which nobody else does. It is a rich thing. On a fifty gram brownie that works out at roughly two hundred and twenty kilocalories and around sixteen and a half grams of sugar, which is worth knowing if you were planning on two.

Keep it cool, which is an instruction nobody prints

The same wholesale listing gives a storage range of one to fifteen degrees celsius. That is the only storage instruction published for this product anywhere, and it explains a lot about the format.

A brownie built on chocolate and margarine at this fat content behaves badly in warmth. Above fifteen degrees the chocolate softens, the surface goes tacky, and the wrapper starts to take some of the brownie with it. None of that makes it unsafe, and all of it makes it less pleasant.

This also explains the six month shelf life, which is a third of what the same brand quotes for its cereal biscuit pot. A dry biscuit keeps. A soft, high fat bake does not, and Euphoria is being honest about that rather than optimistic.

Practically: a cool cupboard is fine most of the year in Britain. In a warm room or a car in July, the fridge is the better answer, and let it come back to room temperature for ten minutes before eating so the texture returns.

The four varieties

All four are the same fifty gram chocolate base with shelled hemp seeds through it. What changes is the flavouring baked in alongside the hemp, and in the walnut version, actual nut character. All four are available at the moment, which is unusual across this bucket.

None of them differs in cannabinoid content, because none of them declares one. Choosing between these is purely a question of taste.

What it is actually like to eat

Dense and fudgy rather than cakey, with a proper chocolate weight to it. The fat content does the work here: this is a bake that coats the mouth, and the brand's own description, which cheerfully warns you will get greasy from it, is closer to the truth than most marketing copy manages.

The hemp arrives as texture first and flavour second. Shelled hemp seeds are soft and slightly nutty, so they read more like a fine crumb than a seed you notice individually. The hemp flavouring behind them is green and mild, and at fifty grams of chocolate it never dominates.

Pure Cannabis is the one where the hemp is most obvious, because there is nothing else competing. Cannabis and Walnut is the best balanced, the nut and the hemp pulling in the same direction. Cannabis and Tiramisu is a straightforwardly sweet dessert with a hemp note. Cannabis and Rum is the most adult of the four and the one that divides people.

Fifty grams is a proper portion. It is a single serving in the sense that it comes in one wrapper, and most people find it a two-sitting bake in the sense that actually finishing it is a commitment.

Against the other bakes on our shelf

The bakery corner of this category divides cleanly into products that state a cannabinoid figure and products that do not, and the split has nothing to do with how cannabis-forward the packaging looks.

This brownie is firmly in the second group. If a milligram number is what you are after, the cookie pot in the table below is the one to look at, and it is from the same brand.

The only percentage on this label is the salt

Read the ingredient declaration for this brownie and you will find exactly one percentage figure in it. It sits inside the margarine and it refers to salt.

That is worth pointing at, because a percentage is the number people reach for when they want to talk about whether a hemp product is legal, and it is the wrong number. The consumer test in Britain is one milligram of controlled cannabinoids per container. Per container, whatever the container weighs, not per portion and not as a proportion of anything. The percentage figure that gets quoted in this category governs how much a licensed grower may have in a standing hemp crop. It is a rule about a field.

For this brownie the position is simple enough. Euphoria states it as THC free. There is no declared CBD content from the brand or from anyone selling it, and we are not going to invent one.

One more line worth reading carefully. Euphoria's own site says the products it lists are legal in its country. That is a Czech statement about Czechia. It is not a British compliance claim and it should not be read as one just because it appears beside something you can buy here. Everything on our shelves is eighteen plus, which is more than most pages selling this brownie manage to say.

Who should not buy this

Anyone avoiding gluten or eggs. Both are declared allergens here and neither is mentioned by anybody selling this brownie in this market.

Anyone who wants CBD. Nothing in this product declares a cannabinoid content, and the name points the other way hard enough that we would rather say it twice than once.

Anyone ordering to a warm room or a warm week without somewhere cool to put it. A one to fifteen degree storage range is not a suggestion on a bake with this much chocolate and margarine in it.

And anyone expecting a light snack. Fifty grams of this is a rich piece of confectionery with the nutrition panel to match, which is the reason we published the panel rather than skipping it.